Mother who doesnt love me

[autum]

My mother who I have lived w/ with out my father being in the picture since I was two, I have not had a mother/daughter relationship for 5 years now.  This is sick but here it is: when I broke up w/ my son's father, my mother got with my sons father's father. In other words its my son's grandpa....  anyways one night I went to her job to see her and she asked to get my son for two days...  well those were my days off and I wanted to see my son... so i said could you get him another day or so, because I want to spend time w/ him..  well she got pissed and threw my son's father's visitation papers in my face by saying ill take you to court! I wasnt being mean or anything, I just said I wanted to see him those days, she wanted him on....  I just said could you get him after or before those days...  then she really broke my heart by saying that so we didnt talk for a while... then I tried talking to her again, but she was just using me for info...  after that... my sons father kept on going to court (w/ his dad and my mother) saying those were his parents...   she was on their side...  anyways..after five years I tried having a mother/daughter  relationship w/ her again, and then my son came home from their house, all screwed up..  he is 7yrs old...  I didnt know what was wrong w/ him, but come to find out they messed w/ his head some how... he was going to therapy for a couple of times... because he would cry all night until 5am in the morning, he stayed depressed, he told me he wanted his grandma(my mother) to be his mom, and when i was goin to die!  So I told my mother, his grandpa, and dad(which they all live together) that I was keeping him for two weeks to get him in routine again for school, since he wasnt doing so well..  (by the way when they took me to court for grandparents rights, even though they got him every weekend, they then were only allowed visitation every second week sat 9am to sun 5pm...)  it wasnt even their visitation time...and they got all pissed starting stuff...  now my mother treats me like ****...  I asked why she was treating me like this and she is saying it is my fault...  what should I do??  this is just a brief summary...there is alot more going on..

LOST and Lonely
Autum

[autum]

Thank you so much for your support!  I really do appreciate it... its hard right now for me...but I know that it has to turn around soon or later...I guess just keep wishing for the best... anyways... I guess i better go...my son has homework ofcourse..lol


Autum

[fung]

You've been doing all you could, Just remember, if we planted  the best seed,  we will   get the best harvest too, right? I wish you all the best with your son, take care.

[ania_2]

children belong with Their mother, not their grandmother. your mom is being a B, and is trying to control how you raise your child. she didn't have enough raising her own kids!  Be strong and take care of your child. You sound like a loving, wonderful mother. if you don't trust your mom, dont' talk to her. she sounds like she is a negative influence on your life. unfortunatly since your son has visitaiton to see her every other weekend, you'll have to communicate with her a little but I'dd keep it to a minimum. One day she'll realize she messed up.
take care.

[autum]

fung, I do spend time w/ my son... we do alot of stuff together...  actually I have to bed him to play ball or something w/ me..lol  I do play games w/ him and wrestle w/ him.... I even read a book to him every night...  I even set down and just talk to him...  My mother....on the other hand.. I have tried everything over the years...and she has done nothing but lie to me...  I dont trust her anymore...  I dont really know what to do...so im just taking it day by day...thats about it...


Autum

[fung]

So sad to hear your situation. It seems not easy  to mend a broken relationship with your mother, but keep trying,it may take time but it's worth it. While I'm sure you are busy taking care your 3 boys, try to set aside  time alone with james, doing fun activities with him as much as you could ,  find  a way to make him feel close to you ,that it's you he wants to be around , not anybody else. . You are his mother, it's not hard to win our child's heart. Do your best.
Good luck ; )

[autum]

Thank you everyone for your support!   Well fung, the thing is I tried that already, having a relationship back w/ my mother, and it went sour!  actually not even a month ago, I called her to go out to eat w/ me and Ill pay... she did...  then after that I went out to eat w/ her and she paid...  then the last time we did go out to eat... that was the end of it... We enjoyed ...well I did atleast... talking to each other...and then all of a sudden...When I told her I was worried about my son and I told her...that I would like to keep him home for atleast two weeks to get him back into routine with everything again... she didnt seem happy about it... but I said...  Im not keeping him from ya'll, but this is the only option that I can think of...and I will keep you informed on whats going on...  I did call her to let her know...  Then she called back before the end of the week wanting him on the weekend...and I told her... sorry, but I did tell ya that I would like to keep him for two weeks... and she was like, Ill think about it!!  I said, no, that is how its going to be... Im doing this for my son's benefit...I said Im not trying to be mean or anything...or try to keep him from ya'll, but Im just trying something new to see if it works...  she was irritated, but she agreed...  then after that... for some odd reason, she thought during those two weeks that my grandparents (my son's greatgrandparents) got him????   I dont know why, but I told her no, they didnt...   I said he was at my house and only my house, thats it.. well she says that  I lied?!  I said no, I didnt lie, I have no reason too... but she persistantly kept saying I lied...  so thats the last of what happened...  well besides us asking her could she not call every five min. to talk to james, my son... because we have 3 kids, and the kids are sharing the house phone..  James, does have a cell phone, but the boy will not keep it turned on, he turns it off when he doesnt want to be disturbed, and thats all the time.  I did set up counseling for him at his school...so hopefully that helps too...  anyways here is some of the dilemma...ugh

Autum