Since his father doesn't have visitation - go by the order - and that's it. You are trying to do the "right thing" but it's not right for YOU and your SON. It's only right for the father that the court has said he shouldn't see him. NOW, the grandparents having visitation - one weekend a month should be all they get to see them.
Most divorce decrees and visitation has "reasonable contact" with whomever. Check yours to see if it does. "Reasonable" typically would be a daily phone call not over 15 minutes - it does NOT mean unlimited contact. Since your "MOTHER" has taken the negative role that she has with your son, I would definitely make the reasonable contact be the minimum.
Your son is most likely in limbo between her taking on a "mother" role with him and knowing that you are his Mother. If you take control of the situation and lay down the rulse as set in the court order - he will be more "safe" in his feelings.
You are in control. Don't forget it!
This all things seem wouldn't end easily in peace . Just a suggestion, why dont you start making a good relationship with your mother? I think your mother has 'something' against you, I dont know, may be she need special attention that she think you didn't give her enough or you always a defiant girl to her , feel unrespected, etc. Despite of all your bitterness with her in the past, do this for your son. Try little by little, say something nice to her, call her everyday just to say hello or anything, remember her birthday, anything you can think of. Try your best to make your mother in the same side with you .
Best of luck
Actually the father has no visitation legally due to not able to take responsibility for taking care of a child:::between right and wrong:::::: anyways only the grandparents have court order saying that they can get my son every month on the second sat. at 9am to sun at 5pm... His daddy does not have any visitations... I proved that when he brought the cops over to my house showing them papers that were done back in 2002 or 2003 tellin the cops" see those are newer, they are in 2008" I said uh yeah, they were printed in 2008, but done in 2002 or 2003... (I was thinkin duh!) the cops were like sir she is right.... you have no legal visitation... The funny thing is I Was Not Keeping My Son Away From Them, now they are doing this junk! Even though his father has no visitation, I still let him see his son, only when the grandparents are there looking after him as well... but now I dont know if its even safe for that! since my so called mother is manipulating my son! I just figured something out last night when I was listening to the phone conversation on tape.... My so called mother only talked bad about me and was manipulating my son when the grandpa or dad wasnt around... so im thinking she is the cause of all of this...
Stressed out/ and trying to quit smoking dont mix!
Autum
Rockrose, I agree it is very complex, Autumn needs professional advice so everyone has her sons interest at heart.
I wonder if the "grandmother" and father combo is doing it to make the son think the drama makes them better parents, etc., I still think it's just weird beyond belief for the "mother" (and I say that veryyyy loosely) to treat Autumn that way - not to mention the son! She definitely has a screw loose, and it's got to be hard for Autumn emotionally as a child (being betrayed by her "mother") and as a mother for someone to basically abuse your child. I can't even imagine.
In the South, we would say she need a "Butt Whooping"....... you might have to get your Redneck on.... (joking!)......
Hang in there Autumn.
Victoria, that's a thought, but her children's father does have visitation rights, and he chooses to spend his time with her mother and his father.
He has the right to do that. It's extremely complex and difficult.