Should I take her back?

[extrmeski]

This could be a really long story but I'll try and be brief as possible.  My G/f and I were together for 2 1/2 years.  It was a strange relationship to say the least as for some reason she would run away from me then come back.  It wasn't as if she ran away to someone else, it just seemed that she would go through these cycles.  Anyway I loved her so much I would do anything for her.  When she is her "normal self" she is wonderful, but seems that she goes through these personality changes I can't explain it.  Her childhood was horrible and it maybe left over from that.  Her self preservation feelings are very high, and it makes her do funny things.  
Anyway we haven't been together since Nov.  In Jan. she wanted to give things another shot but I was in Arizona and she was in Ohio.  We tried the long distance thing and I did what I could to help her and support her.  In April she tells me that she is pregnant and she was cheating on me with some idiot of a guy, way younger than her (which is funny as she always like older guys).  I was totally devistated as I adored this woman.  A few days go by and she tells me that she knows she made a mistake and she wants to be with me.  So I start the process all over again of talking things through and being there for her.  Then in June of this year, her calls were less and less.  I find out she moved in with some other guy.  Again I was almost suicidal!  I was hurting so much.  Now she tells me that she is done with him, moving out, and had learned her lesson.  She is telling me that these experiences have changed her and she knows that she will never find anyone as good as me.
I should be elated to have her back again but I am having mixed emotions.  I mean I've been praying so hard for her to come back but how do I trust her?  Am I just a fool?

[extrmeski]

Grat advice and I am glad that I didn't put my heart in it again.  After confessing her undying love for me telling me that there will never be anyone in this world for her, this was like two days ago!! Now she tells me she is engaged to the guy she is living with.  What the freak??  Why did she try and put me through all this?

[extrmeski]

Thanks for all your advice, I decided to listen to her but keep it all at arms length.  It's not like she is here with me, I am in AZ and she is in OH so that itself makes it both hard and easy.  I'm not supporting her anylonger, and we'll see if she is serious.  Her actions will dictate where this goes and what will happen.

[BearHitch]

I agree with treazzure.... she is just using you.  You may think you'll never love anyone as much or move on, but in time you will.  She just keeps stringing you along because she knows you'll take her back until she can find someone else.  You deserve better than this - and once you find it you'll wonder why you ever wasted your precious time!

Good luck!

[jo929]

This woman has a lot of problems, and she has to be the one to want, and get help for herself, and she can if she really wants it there is help out there it is free, and all she has to do is ask, but from your post, she will just keep doing this, and if you take her back, and there will be more children, and she takes off again where will you be, back in the same ole slump, I do think that you really need to just tell her , to try and get well, and move on with your life, think what you will have to put up with all of the rest of your life, you are a grown man, and you really know what you should do, there is a woman out there just for you, so let this one go , also You may have a problem yourself if you have put up with this, and want to try again, you both need some help  luck  jo

[mami1323]

I agree with treazzure...I think you are so infatuated and in love with her that you can't see the bigger picture here.  She left you, got pregnant, moved in with some other guy and now feels she made a mistake.  What probably happened is that the relationship with this other guy isn't going well so she's going back to what feels comfortable and that's you.  She is playing you like a ping pong ball.  I would bet you a million bucks that she will only be staying with you for a short while until she finds another excuse to leave.  She has personality issues due to her child hood.  She could be manic or bi-polar, whatever it is, she's on drugs, which you have helped to enable her while she's using.  I think that she is using you to make herself feel better.  You are her punching bag it seems.  I don't think she's the right one for you.  I suggest if you want to keep her as a friend and support her emotionally then that's fine but if you still have feelings for her then that wouldn't work.  First focus on your feelings and get your sh!t together, then decide if you still want to be there for her.

[treazzure007]

i think that i must tell you that when a woman treats a guy this way it usually means that she's not into him.  she knows you're the "nice guy" and that's it.  she doesn't look at you or want you the way you do her.  

she will probably never tell you this, but being a woman myself that was always friendly and had many "nice guy" friends that i hung out with, went everywhere fun with, called to vent to, asked relationship advice, and refused to date and kept them in the "friend" box, i think that's exactly what's going on here.  

she gets pregnant by some guy, moves in with some guy, has probably been more guys than that.  next, you'll hear of her wedding to some guy.  come on.  not to sound harsh at all b/c i'm sure you just hadn't made the connection, she isn't wanting you for romantic reasons at all

if you decide you want to continue to support her with financial help or counseling support, being a constant friend or anything of that nature, go ahead.  but, if you are hanging on for someone to become enthralled with you in a romantic way, she's not it