Should I take her back?

[extrmeski]

This could be a really long story but I'll try and be brief as possible.  My G/f and I were together for 2 1/2 years.  It was a strange relationship to say the least as for some reason she would run away from me then come back.  It wasn't as if she ran away to someone else, it just seemed that she would go through these cycles.  Anyway I loved her so much I would do anything for her.  When she is her "normal self" she is wonderful, but seems that she goes through these personality changes I can't explain it.  Her childhood was horrible and it maybe left over from that.  Her self preservation feelings are very high, and it makes her do funny things.  
Anyway we haven't been together since Nov.  In Jan. she wanted to give things another shot but I was in Arizona and she was in Ohio.  We tried the long distance thing and I did what I could to help her and support her.  In April she tells me that she is pregnant and she was cheating on me with some idiot of a guy, way younger than her (which is funny as she always like older guys).  I was totally devistated as I adored this woman.  A few days go by and she tells me that she knows she made a mistake and she wants to be with me.  So I start the process all over again of talking things through and being there for her.  Then in June of this year, her calls were less and less.  I find out she moved in with some other guy.  Again I was almost suicidal!  I was hurting so much.  Now she tells me that she is done with him, moving out, and had learned her lesson.  She is telling me that these experiences have changed her and she knows that she will never find anyone as good as me.
I should be elated to have her back again but I am having mixed emotions.  I mean I've been praying so hard for her to come back but how do I trust her?  Am I just a fool?

[Agiesmom]

This is so very unhealthy for you--but I'm sure you know that.

When you are in a relationship, it's supposed to be balanced--you should both give all you have and be there for each other.  Not one person being the other person's therapist.

You obviously have a strong need to be needed, but you are in for more heartache with this woman.  Is she still pregnant?  And she's abusing pain meds while pregnant?  Is the child yours or the first of the other two guys she was with earlier this year?  Will the father be involved in the child's life?  Do you think she will lose the baby when she delivers and the baby is full of drugs?  In some states I believe you can be arrested for that.

If you are in counseling yourself, I would be willing to bet that your therapist would tell you to run...run as fast as you can away from this woman.

All the best to you.

[extrmeski]

I wish she wold go to counceing she really needs to, but she says she is going and I know that it isn't true.  I've given her some great counceling over the years and she mentions how much she has learned from me, but doesn't seem to modify her behavior.  She is addicted to pain pills as well so the addiction part is true.  If I can get her away from her environment I think she would be better off, but that proves to be difficult.  In addition right now I am struggling financially which makes everything harder.
It's just a cycle of trying to trust her only to be let down over and over again.  It's a terrible cycle.  I'm scared but I love her too much, I just cannot gt over her.  Inside there is a great person that just is begging to come out.

[4afriend]

Oh my, do I understand how your heart feels and I can understand how this situations is going to make for a very hard decision.  You mentioned that she had a difficult childhood and yes that can be a very big part of her personality and reasons as to why she may behave/react the way she does.  I do wonder though, has she ever been to counseling?  Or ever been checked for mental illness?  Please do not take offense to that, because I do not mean that in a bad way what so ever.  The reason I ask is this...due to her childhood and the going back and forth between men/relationships and the not being sure of what she wants and when...those all can be symptoms of some disorders.  I have very close bonds with persons who have all the same behaviors/childhood past and the have some mental health disorders.  My friends also have addictions issues that go along with the above.  Those also go hand and hand with mental health problems for some.  I have seen other posts of yours here, so I know how much you obviously adore this woman. If you end up deciding to give it another shot, I think you should talk to her about that (if she hasn't said anything about a mental health issue)  If she hasn't there could be a possibility that with the right med and counseling those things could work themselves out for her and you.  If that's not the case and you know she is mentally sound, then I hope you the best in your decision...I just can't offer that type of advice, because I tend to fall very hard for those I usually shouldn't. So I don't want to guide you in a wrong way.  However, when I saw your mentions of those behaviors/reactions, I really wanted to mention those things to you, because if that would be the case I wanted to try to help with a suggestion.  Best wishes and I hope you know I'm sending thoughts of lots of strength while you sort this all out