I'm writing because I'm very tired. Always. I'm eighteen years old, so just in itself it's a strange thing. I'm currently unemployed, having to take a break from work. I worked at an in-store Starbucks kiosk for only nine months, and I had to quit partially because of King Sooper's illegal treatment of their employees (I had to fight for my breaks and lunches, I was left alone for six hours with no ability to use the restroom, the list goes on), and also because about seven months through I began having panic attacks. I worked with an older woman with breast cancer some days, so when these things happened I had no choice but to go outside and take a breather during a rush that she couldn't handle alone. My boyfriend and I came to the conclusion that it was best for me to quit working and take a break, and that we'd make it financially with his paychecks.
I've been out of work for three months or so, currently looking for new employment. About three weeks to a month ago I started sleeping way too much. It's hurting my relationship because he likes to spend time with me after work, but I'm always too tired to do anything but lay down. When I get tired, my body actually aches to be horizontal, and I need to lie down wherever, be it couch, bed, floor or bathtub. At the beginning I was sleeping 12 hours with a 3-4 hour nap inbetween, and now it's escalated to almost 18 hours of solid sleep a day.
Could it be stress related? Because I'm not working, we've fallen behind on bills, and though our debt isn't large, I'm newly on my own and am really not sure how to handle being $900 in debt. When I'm not sleeping I worry about money constantly. I've wanted to find a job almost since I quit my old job, but my boyfriend says the same thing with the panic attacks will start happening again if I didn't take a good long rest from responsibility.
My body hurts when I wake up. My neck is sore, my back hurts like no other, and my shoulders are losing their range of mobility. It feels like I've got a cold, you know, everything is stiff. I might also mention I have TMJ disorder which is currently being treated. That could explain the soreness in my neck, but not much else. I usually lay in bed for a half hour to an hour trying to go back to sleep, but if I can't I'll finally get out of bed and job-hunt. When I'm awake it's like staying up for a whole day and I'm feeling groggy, but I've just woken up. So now, I'm either asleep or I'm not all there. I haven't driven in a long while because I don't trust myself behind the wheel.
I've been told that I just need to WAKE UP. That I'm sleepy if I sleep too long once and wake up, and it's just a vicious cycle between too much sleep and grogginess. If it were that I wouldn't be here. My body HAS to sleep if it's tired. It HAS to lay down and rest. Once I'm asleep, I could sleep through a hurricane. My boyfriend's tried to wake me up many times, only to be annoyedly grunted and pushed away. I don't even remember any of this when I wake up. I'll even talk to him without any idea that I'm doing it. I've even hit him before.
I've never had trouble sleeping before. I love sleep.
I'm here because obviously I don't want to abuse amphetamines, and I don't really have the money to see a sleep specialist. If I were sleeping too much alone it'd be one thing, but accompanied with the body aches, incoherent mood swings, and financial stress it's really turning into a problem. I'd just like a little light on what's going on with me, and maybe things I could try to do to fix it. I can't work and sleep like this at the same time, and that's another major concern of mine.
I appreciate any help you'd like to offer me, I could really use some advice. Thanks.