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Help with mother-in-law..
I posted this in another forum and was pointed to this area....Just copying and pasting my initial post....Thanks!


I'm dealing with my mother-in-law.  She's paranoid schizophrenic and abusing pain pills and meth.  We just got her out of the hospital due to a blood clot in her lung.  The clot is still there but they figured she was well enough to be released and has been given a medication to break up the clot.  Unfortunately, she's always stuck on the pleasure principle and never sees beyond the "now" or what consequences may come.   The doctor even told her that doing meth with this medicine will lead her to a life of "having people to wipe your *** for the rest of your life"  (his actual words) or she can go off it, keep doing meth and be dead within the week, month..or basically at any moment.

Not even 24 hours out of the hospital, her "dealer" showed up at her door (she claims that she "just showed up", but this has happened before).  Luckily her home physical therapist was there so she couldn't/wouldn't answer the door.  I did go over and I found a straw with white stuff on the rim of both sides of it, but quickly threw it away while she wasn't in the room.  She's on state aid and they won't cover in-patient rehab and will only cover out patient, 3 days a week for one month.  She's acting like this is just something she has to "get through" and that's all.

Right now I'm just trying to do research to see how we, as a family, need to deal with this.  I've read to separate ourselves from her because we could be enabling her habit without even knowing it.  We have all agreed that when she needs something we DO NOT give her money...we go out and buy it, take all tags off, break all seals, etc...so she can't take the items back and get refunds.  Again, she's on state aid and, really, they don't give her enough to get by by any means.  We know she needs that little extra for food and necessities.  We have put a cap on how much we will help her though.

I just feel like I"m the only one that's taking this as seriously as it needs to be approached.  I'm the "outsider" in the sense that I'm an in-law.  I can look and deal with her without seeing her as a daughter, sister, or mother.  She knows it too and will totally bypass asking me for anything because I'm not afraid to say "no", but she knows that everyone, if she whines and throws a tantrum, will bow down to her wishes.  Her mother is the biggest enabler of them all so we have come to the conclusion that we are going to start taking over her finances as well just so my mother-in-law can't call her mother up and pester her until she gives in.

Anyway...I've gone on and on and on and on.  I guess I'm just looking for any good solid advice that I an share with the rest of the family.  As much as she drives me crazy she is still my partner's mother and I love her and worry about her because it directly effects him.

Any help would be appreciated!!!  I don't want to be burying her within the next month.
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