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I just want my son back
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I just want my son back

This isn't really a question, i'm just putting this out there in the hope that SOMEONE will tell me people recover.
I'm the mother of four sons, two in college, one in grade school and one in jail. I raised them all the same, private school, church and family dinners every night, always home when they got off the bus, i felt great about our family and proud of my self as a mom, until two and a half years ago when my whole life crumbled in front of me when i found out my 17 yr old was addicted to zynax. We went right to a teen drug recovery center plus private therapy plus a specialist for his "dual diagnosis" OCD. Nothing worked, he started running away and then he started using heroin, then he robbed a gas station. We were able to keep him from prison by sending him to a residential facility in Utah, where he stayed for about a year, he came home and relapsed within a couple of weeks, we sent him back for nine more months, he came home for a visit and relapsed again, only this time his probation officer said no more rehab, time for jail. Tomorrow he goes for sentencing and today our family went to church and prayed for him, i feel broken inside, like i'm different now, we've all lost a piece of our selves as we've lost our son, brother, family member by inches, a little more each relapse. I need hope..........
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14 Comments Post a Comment
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1801781_tn?1410753824
as the mother of an adult son, I feel your pain.  I am so sorry.  you have done ALL you can.   He will have to make his own way and decide when he will get clean.  Jail may help, but the reality is he will have to make the decision.  There will be others here that will have wiser things to say.  Just know my thoughts are with you.
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340590_tn?1290955741
I have a daughter that was shooting oxygen.  I wanted to tell you about a long term program called Teen Challenge.  It is an 18month Christian based program.  They have centers located all over the US.  My daughter has been clean for 1 year and has just come home to begin her 6 month re-entry program. Google it there is tons of info on it.  Also wanted tontell you they take ppl of all ages.  My daughters center had mostly 25-40 year old.  Some younger and on was even 54!  Check it out I fully recommend it.
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1809109_tn?1331807377
My sister was an addict for several years. She started drugs at 11, got pregnant at 14 and was sober for a while, but went almost right back to it after giving birth.  It was mostly methamphetamine use. Our whole family desperately tried to help her, but she wouldn't have it. It's a surreal nightmare to see someone you love retreat into an empty shell, unfortunately you can't make them want sobriety. However, 10 years ago my sister found a reason to beat the addiction and she hasn't looked back since. She has became a beautiful strong woman, and I'm very proud of her. I'm not saying it easy or simple- a lot of people fail, sometimes multiple times. I actually know quite a few who did, however they've succeeded in the end. So yes, its a horrifying helpless place to be in but there is light at the end of the tunnel and all the hope in the world that someone can come out of it ok.
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1809070_tn?1402577679
Thank you, last night i didn't sleep worrying about todays sentencing, i tell myself...... i've done everything i can, it's not my fault and when he's ready he'll recover...... i only believe it about 50% of the time but that's better than a year ago when i couldn't even consider it possible that it wasn't my fault....... i love him so much, i wish love was the answer. I'm very happy for your sister and for your family, I hope i get to say my son is returned to me one day very soon.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello,that was an inspirational real-life success story.Meth,like cocaine has a really high relapse and death rate,and not after many years,but in a few months of use.It would be very useful if she,maybe told her story to people who think recovery is impossible.10yrs is remarkable great john
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1809070_tn?1402577679
Sentencing carried over a week..... lawyer says it's good for him to to get a better case together but feels worse not knowing whats going on.
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Avatar_m_tn
It's  a very difficult situation to be in, I know. You feel helpless and hopeless, and keep thinking that there has to be something else you can do, or something you are missing that can turn everything around. But there isn't.
There is only one person who can turn things around, and that's our children.  Sometimes they just have to learn things the hard way despite everything we try do to spare them learning that way.

I had the same problem with my youngest son.  He fell in with the wrong crowd and no matter what I tried, I just couldn't pry him away from them. It wasn't long before I was smelling pot on him when he was 14, and he was his own man at 17, ran off  with his "friends" and was doing meth and cocaine, and whatever else they got their hands on.

It took a serious car accident where his "friend" rolled his car with my son in it going 140mph down the highway, almost killing him before he even started to smarten up. That same night his friend decided his troubles were too much and hung himself  while my son was in the hospital with a concussion and a fractured back.

It still took a few more months after some recovering before he started realizing he had a problem. The partying never stopped where he was living, neither did the fights, gang troubles, and of course the police were interested in what was going on there as well.

A few of his friends started getting arrested, then one got herself tossed in prison for trafficking.  His little party house was starting to fall apart as his friends lives were falling apart, and he finally realized that they were going to drag him down with them.

He called one night and told me he had a problem, which I knew anyway, and asked if he could come home. It took a month to get him straightened out from all that crap he was taking, and teach him how to speak proper english again instead of that street punk garbage, then I put him into professional driving school.
He got his class one licence, then I found him a job with a half decent company.  
Now he has his own small company he just started last year, and just got married this summer.
He's been clean for 10 years now.  

So it just goes to show there is always hope for your son to change his ways as well. Sometimes they just have to get there the hard way, but it's their way none the less.

I hope everything works out for you and your son.  





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1809070_tn?1402577679
Thank you for your story, this is truly the words of hope and encouragement i was looking for. There's so much sadness and hopelessness surrounding this whole situation, it's not easy to see a good outcome on the horizon. I'm almost afraid to hope to much after so many let downs, which makes me ashamed. God bless your son and your family, i'm happy you where able to share this me :)
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1235186_tn?1339127464
as long as he has breathe there is always hope.
i am the wife of a recovering addict and 2 oldest children have used.
oh my, we sound so dysfunctional. thank the LORD ,there is hope and there is deliverance.

my son who is now 25 started to smoke pot when he was 14, then moved onto cocaine,i sent him to inpatient rehab when he was 17. he had been arrested a few times for possession,when he was 16 on probation,iop. after rehab he started to use again.  a few of his friends od and died.
it is horrible what drugs do to many families.

my son has now been clean for 2 years and has a good sales job.
my daughter is 20 she also has had her issues, with coke,xanax and pot. arrested on probation,iop,  in the last 3 weeks she has know 3 different kids from 3 different towns that have od and died.i hope and pray she is done. she is going to celebrate recovery meetings.like na/aa but christian based.

i would pled with the lawyer,probation officer and the judge to give him one more try and ask them to send him to a chrisitan rehab. many times it takes relapse after relapse and rehab after rehab to finally break the chains and bondage of addiction.

keep praying,hoping,trusting and believing.
i will be praying for you,
sending hope,encouragment,hugs
debbie
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1235186_tn?1339127464
Alexandria,
hi how are you doing?
did you son go to court?
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1809070_tn?1402577679
Today at 9:45 am i know he's going to jail, i wish i could have given him the vivitral shot before he relapsed. I'm SICK over that, maybe this wouldn't be happening. Thank you so much for checking in on me :) I will post after court, i want to raise awareness about this ground breaking monthly "vaccine" for heroin addicts!!!!!!
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1700643_tn?1348985292
Yes addicts can recover.But its not easy.I will tell u about my family.My sister is31.She was the worst pill addict I have ever seen(could take180lortabs,120xanax,90soma and more n4-5days).She apparently started using drugs recreationally at15(pot,drinking,xtc then a pill here+there).She was very  moody(my dad was too he was bi-polar+a DR told my mom she probably was too but they dont diagnose until shes18.She made allA's n school.1week after her18th b-day she got pregnant by a guy who was29.Her obgyn out her on lortabs during pregnancy.After having him she was off to a doctor getting lortabs,soma,xanax etc.She got pregnant again moved across the country w/the dad of her kids4-5yrs.When she came back it was awful+lepra getting worse.She would TAKE any pill,dabbled w/coke.The dad is a crack addict she always thought she was better than him so she was ok.She became homeless many times,after being violent,abusive+stealing she couldnt stay w/any of us anymore.We offered2keep her kids but she used them4a place2stay,get n shelters etc.over years she tried2kill herself,we got her n2a mental hospital by force another time.She was threatened a few times by DCF that her kids would b taken(my mom took them for a while,so did me+my husband).She was kicked out of2shelters4being wasted.Theres no telling what else drugwise she has done.She had DUIS,arrested4domestic violence etc.NONE OF THIS MADE HER QUIT UNTIL she got kicked out of a shelter(her ex took the kids2his parents)she was2hrs away from us.She spent10days on the streets til she called my mom who brought her home.She ended up n the ER all of her organs shutting down@not even30.They were gonna release her she told them she would die if she didnt go to rehab.She went and has been clean a year.Has a great job,taking care of her kids alone,just bought a car.she is doing better than any1expected.I honestly didnt think she would stay sober but hoped.She had2hit HER rock bottom.Sry this is so long just want u to know there is hope.BTW she isnt bi-polar it was drugs.She got off anti depressants after6months.He matter need jail2realize he has been messing up+doesnt wanna go back.
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1809070_tn?1402577679
Thank you for sharing your story, it helps so much to know there are people who understand. He may need jail to realize what his life has become, i don't know, i only know that i love him, he's my little boy, when i see him i still see my small, sweet child and i always go back to why, why, why. Drugs are so very destructive and yet to young teens they seem alluring, cool, even i rite of passage into adulthood. If they only could see the truth, and know the price they'll pay if there the unlucky "addictive personality" type. I've met alot of wonderful parents through Alanon and it's so very sad. Eric was sentenced today, my little catholic school boy is going to be incarcerated for the next 11mths. that's a piece of his life he'll never get back, and for what?
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Avatar_f_tn
hi alex.  i am very simple, clean 18 days.  i want to let you know there is hope for your son!!!  i  can tell you there is hope.  prayers also help.   my son is doing 20 years in prison for drugs.  he is the son of a drug addict (me) who was the daughter of an alcoholic so it runs in the family.   i was able to tell my son last sat.  i was clean and sober seeing him for the first time in years.  there is also alanon.  maybe you want to consider it.  i will keep your family in my prayers.  dont lose hope.  sending you comfort and strength.  bellabo
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