My ex-boyfriend is addicted to heroin and xanex

I dated someone for 8 years, 3 years ago he started snorting pain killers, and xanax. We broke up for quite some time, and about 9 months ago, he called me to tell me he was now 8 months sober. Well about 6 months ago, he started shooting up and snorting heroin. He lied to me for about 2 months until I started doing some research... I confronted him about this, and he finally admitted to doing heroin. A-lot of my things, and tons of money started going missing. He stole my credit cards maxxed them out, drained my bank accounts until I was hundreds of dollars negative, with nothing left. Drained my emotions, mentally and verbally abused me until I literally had nothing left to give. He sold all of his electronics for drugs. He snorts/shoots up about 30 bags of heroin daily, and snorts 10 xanax bars regularly. He has stolen thousands of dollars from me, has no job, and still lives at home with is mother (who supports his every move). she has her suspicions because she has talked to me about this... but he is also a sociopath to make matters worse. He can charm anyone into giving him anything he wants. He chooses to make everyone around him feel guilty for not providing him with money or drugs. He says his withdrawal symptoms are going to cause seizures, and because of us, he wants to kill himself. The other day he tried committing suicide. We broke up 2 months ago because I caught him cheating. I want to help him without being around him. can anyone suggest anything to help?

[tryingtocope39]

Sometimes it is best to just chalk it up as a loss & GTFO! For your own sake. Its admirable that you want to help, but until he is willing to help himself, he is just going to continue to drain you.

[Life360]

Get away from him asap, change your phone number and move is you can. This guy is just using you and everyone else to get what HE wants out of life. He does not love you, he loves drugs because he does not love HIMSELF either. This guy does not want help but you say you want to help him. He only wants drugs so the only help you can give him now is to give him drugs. The problem is see by the way you wrote this is that you love him!. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and walk away. I had a similar thing happen to me and made the decision to walk and looking back was the best decison in my life as met a beautiful person after that. You can love again and you will love again. Again the only help you can give him is getting him more drugs.

[nursegirl6572]

I couldn't agree more,...run, and don't look back.  

Addicts, as you have found, will lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate until they get what they want.  He is sick and needs help.  Only HE can decide to get help, no one else can decide that for him.  

Also, if he uses threats of self harm to blackmail (like "I will kill myself if I don't see you")...know that you are NOT responsible for his actions in ANY way, even if, God forbid, he does harm himself.  That's not on you at all.  Don't let him guilt you into staying in his life because you fear he will harm himself, or worse.  That's only enabling him and falling victim to yet another trap.

Move on...you deserve so much better for yourself, and hopefully, he will decide to get the help he needs.

[mariea428]

thanks for your answers. I think in my heart I know thats the only thing left to do. It's just sad to see someone you love follow this horrible path of destruction. I feel like I am neglecting him by leaving him to deal with this. I've always been by his side but I can't handle this on my own, and he clearly doesn't want any help. He tried suboxine last month and just abused it completely to get the feeling of heroin back, but it wasn't enough. I have had to stay up endless nights with him while he had almost no pulse and his eyes rolled in the back of his head, and he was foaming at the mouth. It was the scariest thing I have experienced yet, and I'm afraid he's going to go to far and kill himself. I know it wouldn't be my fault.. but I would feel guilty abandoning him completely especially if he ultimately killed himself.

[Life360]

you have not abandoned him, he has abandoned you, himself and everything else around him. Sometimes people drown even with the best efforts of others.