Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
When do I confront an addict? to seek help?
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WELCOME TO THE ADDICTION: LIVING WITH AN ADDICT COMMUNITY. This patient support community is for family members and loved ones of people who are substance abuse addicts. Discussions cover how to help your loved one, enabling, coping with the emotional impact of addiction, intervention, and when to seek medical help. If you are not a family member of a substance abuse addict and instead need help with your addiction, please visit our Addiction: Substance Abuse Community to get the support you need.

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When do I confront an addict? to seek help?

My 40yr. old brother moved in with me and my husband.  All doubts removed he's an addict.  We live in Ohio, I need info on what treatment centers do inpatient treatment.  I know out of state is best however, finances are an issue.  I really want a plan of action in place before confronting him regarding his 20+yr addiction.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello and welcome. I'm sorry to read of your plight with your brother. Addiction is quite a complex disease. If he is truly addicted, the only person who can stop him from using is him. He's the one who has to want to stop, go to a treatment center, and get into an aftercare program like NA after he gets out. Confrontation isn't going to work. He might promise to stop, but unless he has the willingness, he simply won't stop. You can indeed confront him with the fact that if he's using drugs he will need to find another place to live. If a family member gives an addict a free ride they're enabling him/her, making it easier for them to use. A practicing addict needs to feel the consequences of their actions, and they need to feel them ASAP. The final result of addiction is jails, institutions or death.

i'd hate to see you and your husband spend money on a treatment center for naught. That's your brother's task to complete. My daughter went to 3 treatment centers and a 3/4 house in North Palm Beach (we live in MI) all complements of her mom's insurance program. Nothing stopped her until SHE finally got sick and tire of being sick and tired. She got herself into treatment, on her own. She now has 9 years of clean time, and is a productive member of society. So, there can be a happy ending to addiction also.

I'm writing you based on my experience with my own daughter, and a program called Al-anon. There's a meeting in just about every town. If you wanted to sit in on the first step at a meeting you'll learn much more about what we can do for ourselves, being that we can't do much for our addicted loved one. You're a wonderful sister to take him in like you did. But you'll eventually need to detach from him and turn him back loose, with love, so he can find his own way in getting himself clean. He'll only appreciate it, and stay clean, if he does it himself.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am a recovering addict. I have been sober since April 18tj 2012. I agree with everything in the aforementioned statement. You can not tell a drug addict to stop. The first step is admitting your powerless over your addiction. If you can't do that, you won't stop. You, yourself, should go to Al-anon meetings as you will eventually be destroyed by his addiction. They wi guide you and tell you what to do. It's a support group. Just go and listen, you don't have to talk unless you want to. It has been an amazing resource for my family. I went to one treatment centre once. It was private so I paid for it, drained my RRSP and all the money I hadn't spent on cocaine. I took every second of it seriously and found my own breed of faith in a higher power. I am not a Christian. You do not have to be. Don't let that fool or deter you. Don't try to intervene without help. Get some support then take action. Watch your belongings also, drug addicts steal, period. Not because they want to or feel no remorse...the drug has taken over and controls them. It's hard to believe but addicts don't want to be addicts. It's a prison and you watch yourself die and still can't stop. When he freaks in you, it's not him, it's the drug. It hates being threatened. It becomes it's own entity, like possession. Just stay cool and get support for yourself at this point. Stay safe and keep an eye on your valuables ok?
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