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Worried
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Worried

So, ever since I met my husband, he has been a pot head. Well, after we got out of high school, we split up for awhile after i had a miscarriage. Well, he got really big into shrooms, coke, & says he did meth but didnt like it. Now, im 37 weeks pregnant & hes been acting strange again. Not the same as before but lying a lot & we split up awhile ago cuz of it & he expects me to do everything. He hasnt been working since we moved in beginning of December and has been snapping  on me about not getting a job when i ask where hes put in applications or something. Now,  today i discovered our cell bill is $357. I have given him $100 a week to put towards the bill since i never drive out that way. It says no payment has been made since november. I am so pissed & hurt idk what to do. The only reason i even kno about the phone  is i tried to text him & it came back as unavalible. Am i overreacting or does it sound as if hes using again?
if he  is using i do not want him around us at all and he knows it. I wanna make sure our 4 yr old never sees (hopefully anyone) high & idk if i want him around a new baby.  What to do?
8 Comments Post a Comment
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1551327_tn?1414146344
Yeah it sounds like he is using.  If not something is going on but I really think he is using.  All the signs and red flags are there.  You are about to pop and you need a support system instead of a leech.  It only gets worse.  He will not change just because the baby is born.  Are you drawing a check or are you on maternity leave?  If you can handle things on your own get rid of him, and I hope that you have some family members that can help.  Let us know how you are doing and please protect yourself and your baby.
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4601190_tn?1357342463
I am on unemployment since i got fired for "being pregnant" and i did kick him out of the house. i think hes using but i guess it could be his mom too. She hates me, always has. She tild him that she  knows i cheated on him & that neither of our kids r his. I wanna be done so bad but i am the only support he does have. I just dunno how to get him to open up to me about whatever is going on
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Avatar_f_tn
I agree it sounds like he is using. And it has to be something like either coke or meth, because there is no way in hell he could smoke that much pot in 2 months. Me and my bf used to smoke pot every single day and there is just no way. Idk if you have seen my posts lately, but I am dealing with my mom using meth again, she has been an addict for years. I'm sorry hun. But it doesn't look good.
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3149845_tn?1414182164
Sorry Opti your going through this. You do care for him as are reaching out here for help here. I think you should have a long sitdown talk with him about what his plans are. Youve been with him for quite and seem be friends also. Reach to him from your friendship side, tell him what you expect and ask him the simple question of what his plans are. Right now it seems he is appealing to the mother son relationship that you also have developed.
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1551327_tn?1414146344
When did his mom tell him that?  That could be one of the reasons he is using, if he actually believed her over you.  In all actuality, there could be a lot of reasons why is using, but I have little doubt that he is.  How much longer do you have on your unemployment?  What job did you get fired from?  That is a sh!ty way to treat someone just because they are pregnant.
If you let him know that he is not going to be part of yours or your kids life until he explains what is going on and what happened to the money, he may open up.  If not then when he is withdrawing I think he might open up.  During the withdraws there is a period of time when you will see signs of his personality that you haven't seen in a while as his emotions start coming back.  If he is anything like me he will obsessively call and cry a lot.  He may even talk about harming himself.  Look out for the signs of withdraw and don't feed into it too much.  I hope I am wrong but like I said it sounds like textbook substance abuse.

Larry
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Avatar_f_tn
Did they actually tell you that you were being fired for being pregnant? That is discrimination and it is illegal. Anyway, I hope you get it figured out, but I would not enable him or believe him if he says that he isn't using or can quit on his own, because usually, they can't.
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4601190_tn?1357342463
His mom told him all this stuff in november, when she said she want to take him on vacation to  jamacia with her. He left & came back an *******. Somedays are good (typically wed & thurs) cuz he stays weds cuz dr on thurs. Im staying with my dad & dad doesnt want him around often. Which honestly, i dont mind cuz how hes been lately. And yeah, i worked at the same place since 2008 and i took leave to help my gma then dr put me oon lifting restrictions & they fired me cuz of the restrictions. they didnt acttually say cuz of being pregnant but thats how i took it.
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1551327_tn?1414146344
Yeah they are pretty slick.  They are not supposed to be able to fire a soldier who is going overseas to war.  It is illegal but I have seen it happen.  Your dad has a good intuition.  I know you know this isn't going to work.  It is hard to end a relationship if you have invested that much in it.  However, you get this one life and you have been through enough.  Most guys aren't like this, you will find someone who loves you unconditionally someday. Someone who trusts you.  Someone who wants to better themselves and also wants you to succeed.  
A flower inside is stunted from growth
It needs warmth and love, you're sheltered from both
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