Months before her wedding, my friend revealed that her fiance is an addict. She had found out less than a year prior and they were in counseling. In the past two months, they have gotten married, bought a new house, and gotten pregnant. Im so happy for her, but i can't help but worry. He'd never sought help previously, so this is his first time being clean. They had lived together for years and he was able to hide it. He struggles with cocaine and alcohol addiction. Having family members who are addicts, i know that recovery isnt a one way, non stop road to success. With all these major life changes and his sobriety so young and questionable (he still drinks "nonalcoholic" beer, and she still keeps alcohol in the house), I worry that he will relapse. A small part of me is struggling not to be negative, but a huge part of me is realistic. Im pretty close with her, but im not sure if asking about his sobriety will seem like me raining on her parade. I need tips from those who have been in her shoes. I think shes punch drunk from all the celebrations, but parties and babies dont cure addiction. Its like the elephant in the room. Do I just keep my mouth shut and fingers crossed, or can i ask, and if i can, what should i ask/say?
I can only tell you my experience and it may not be the same for everyone. I had a friend go through this and it ended up turning out bad for her. If it has become a codependent relationship you may see yourself being pushed further away. I think the best thing, in my opinion, is to listen and support your friend as much as possible so that you are the person she can turn to. He will find his recovery on his own. Anyway I may be wrong, and I hope I am. It may feel like watching a train wreck somedays but like I said dysfunctional relationships and codependent relationships have a way of consuming the innocent. Read more into it if you wish. Good Luck....
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