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how will I know when he'll stop hurting me?
My husband tells me all the time he's sorry, he knows he messed up and promises me he will get help. and I believe him all the time, when will he stop lying to me?
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I am not the spouse of an addict but I am married to the spouse of an addict and God knows I put her through hell. Alone and tired and afraid  and confused is what my behavior caused her to feel. I don't know your husband, his addictions, or anything about your relationship. I can say this with certainty - most of us feel horrible about hurting the people we love but we rationalize being selfish somehow in order to continue our addictions and avoid the pain of withdrawal. How long it will take for him to change is not a question that can be answered here but what I hope and pray for you (and what you can find here) is support from people who have been in your position. The best case scenario is that he will quit tomorrow, the worst is that he will die from his drug abuse; somewhere in between is that you refuse to live with him any longer and leave. Whatever the case, my prayers are with you tonight.
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