CentralFLA

I may get angry posts after this but what I am about to tell you is the honest truth and coming from an addict that is finally truly getting clean for the right reasons.

First you are not a bad person for what you did. How do I know this? Because I myself forged an RX. I got an rx for 4 percs. I tried to write in a 2 and me being a dummy didn't think that the dea # wasn't on the rx so they had to call it in. I knew right then I was headed for some big time trouble so I got in my car and bailed. I still live in fear that one day I will get something in the mail from the police. I don't think me doing time will help my situation. What I did was out of desperation because I am an addict. But I don't think getting clean to avoid jail is right either.

I can't tell you how many times I tried to get clean. And the real truth for getting clean was 1)help with w/d's and 2) to feel normal again. What I didn't know then that I do now is there is no "quick fix".

You see your post sounded so familiar to me. You are scared of w/d's (as you should) and you are looking for a quick fix. Going to a hypnotist and asking "how long will this last". The answer to that is "your entire life" if you don't get real help. I asked the same questions you are in the past. I wanted a quick fix and wanted to know "when will it end?  How long does it take to detox".

What I failed to realize was that there are no quick fixes because I was broken on the inside.  So if you try a quick fix you will most likely fail. Sorry but I have to be honest. You can't get through the first 4 days and be ok. You can't just get through the w/d's and make it. You have to fix what is broken on the inside and you have to find something that will help you as a whole person. There is no "magical cure".

This is my 4th attempt at getting clean and this time I feel good about it. Because I know what I need to do and that is a lot of work. I am on suboxone right now and in IOP (intensive outpatient). My IOP is an 8 mos program. Last time I tried to get clean I checked into rehab because I couldn't deal with the w/d's. when I got out I thought I could handle things on my own. I started using again. And if you try and get through this by just getting past the w/d's you will fail. Because you aren't trying to fix the real problem. What happens in 6 mos when you are not in the fear of jail and your addict brain starts wanting drugs?  You will use. Trust me on this. Because a quick fix won't teach you had to deal with your addict brain.

I can't tell you what you need to do. But I would suggest you make sure what ever you do is long term. And you have to get clean for the right reasons and not to avoid jail. You have to decide if you want to fix what is broken on the inside because until you do that you won't get better.

So lots of people may not like what I just said because there are people who have succeeded on their own but I don't know if I really buy that. Either they weren't using for long or they haven't been clean long enough to know if it was a success. Cause I don't believe you can cure yourself bye getting through w/d's. The vast majority of addicts fail if they do not fix the inside.

So you need to be real honest with yourself and stop looking for a miracle cure. If there was one then none of us would be here today.

I know you are scared because you have been cut off from your supply and I am not going to tell you "wait it out. In 4 days the pain will be gone". Because that isn't the truth. So you can ignore me and think I don't know what I am talking about. But trust me if you keep looking for that miracle cure well you are headed down a path that can lead to jail or death. You need to realize it is a long road to recovery but you can win this battle if you get well for the right reasons and are willing to put a lot of time and energy into your recovery.

And I am telling you all of this because I want you to recover and be well and be happy.

[fishmeal]

Nice post... how is the suboxone working for you?  Did you start out at 8mgs 4 times a day or half that?  This is my 7th day off of suboxone and am still feeling sluggish but a whole lot better than trying CT.  I actually feel good and am sleeping well, just a little sluggish.