what a hard day

[bama88]

Today was my first true day of detox I'm not going to call it withdrawals. Withdraws are when your out and waiting for that next pill. I don't know how I made it but I did. I even watched my husband take four tabs a soma and a morphine.  That was so hard. If hills pills 'would of accident fell in.my mouth'. I would have sighed in delight. But nope I stuck it out.  It has been a rollercoaster of.emotions with the toilet the star of the day. Imodium didn't work for me. But I did have to take a benzo to calm my nerves. I was so mean..bouncing around like a pinball and wow my bones hurt. I even managed to work on.cleaning my room. I haven't done that in months. I haven't ever been one day clean in over five years. Thanks for giving me strength to do this.

[bama88]

Thanks kitty. How are you? I'm scared to go to the doctor. First he's been draining blood under my knee cap. Second he's been putting a big meddle in my knee. Third he has been threatening another surg to go in and see why I'm still bleeding in the knee. Forth it is scarey

[Bkitty]

~ If I went without meds and didnt take the script from Dexter the Dentist you can refuse too! LOL! Good luck today sweetie!~

[bama88]

Oh great I have to go to the doctor today for a check up on my knee. I hope I can stay strong and not ask for any meds.

[bama88]

I just want to SCREAM!!!!!!!!   Wait that takes energy.

[bama88]

The start of a new day....I feel like the weather gloomy rainy and just like ****. The pain kept me up all night. I slept a total of three hours. I forgot pain like this exists. I'm so dehydration. Can't keep anything down. I m thinking about my few 20's I have left. I can't take it. I just can't take it. At least I have the house to myself. I have quite. I hope the runs and pukes go away. I just am fed up with the pain. My back is on fire. I watched my husband get ready for work. He's in such a fog. He forgets this forgets that. And everything is getting on my last nerve. Why does everyone have to ask me for everything.  These people need to learn how to be self sufficient. I'm hoping this is the worst day because tomorrow I got to go to work. Help me. I've been down on my knees a lot praying for this to stop. Lord Jesus help me.....I'm falling

[bama88]

Thanks. I hurt really bad. I mean super bad. I'm gonna cave into the pain. I don't know if I can do this. Even my but hurts. My whole leg hurts. I think I over did it at the mall. Maybe I'm not ready to deal with this much pain. What do you all know about tramidol or ultracet. I've gotta get my pain levels under control. All.my joints ache. Is it real.pain or withdrawals.