Anxiety??

[amandajo389]

Okay, I am new here.. Hellooo!
I am here because I have been feeling offish for forever now and its just now being brought to my attention by my husband who wants me to get to the bottom of this and so do I.. I was told by someone in a other forum that I have "intrisive thoughts" but I thought those thoughts where when YOU thought about doing bad things. And I don't.. I am constantly thinking in my head and playing out scenes of people hurting my children and it scares the hell out of me..It makes me a nervous wreck.. I cry all the time cause I am scared someone will hurt them, i check on them several times in the night to make sure they are okay.. I cant let them have fun cause I am to busy trying to make sure they are safe.. It disturbs me because I can not shake these thoughts and the real like images in my head...

I just had a baby boy two months ago and ever since then things have got worse.. I have ALWAYS had these thoughts.. But now they are even worse.. (I have a three year old and it started after she was born) And now I have my son and my thoughts are worse and everything else is worse..I am now really moody.. I start fights with my husband on purpose.. I am happy and playing one minute.. Raging the next..
Up and down roller coaster..
I hate it.. I hate feeling this way it is MISERABLE but it feels like I cant stop it..
I want to know what is going on with me so I can find a solution before I drive my husband to a point of not wanting to be with me and I become a mean old over protective mother who yells alot and is never happy..
I am ashamed of my body all of a sudden.. I am really jelous all of a sudden when I was not before..
Is this anxiety? What is this??
What do I do to make it better? Do I go to a family Dr? Someone else? Any input would be nice

[birdie0907]

Sorry, it was late when I posted. I don't mean to diagnose, so should have told you to see a professional for diagnosis too. Good luck.

[Julie359]

p.s... sorry that was mean't to say daughter... and after re-reading your posts i firmly believe this is post-natal depression and anxiety.... trust me the doctor will help you... i would strongly recommend making an appointment..... xx

[Julie359]

Could this be a form of post natal depression???? You stated that this started after your son who is 3 was born.  I know that after my twins were born i became extremely protective over them too the point of obession, i went to the doc because i was feeling anxious about them all the time and he diganosed me with post-natal depression.  He then put me on Paxil 10mg to start with then he up't it to 20mg.  I started to feel better extremely quickly and found that i was then secure in taking them to toddler groups and was enjoying them interacting with other mums and toddlers, even though they were still only roughly 6 months old.  

You deserve to enjoy your children and have fun with them and this is effecting your husband and the little one's so if i were you i would go and see your doctor and explain what is happening, he/she will not condem you for it. The doctor will help you!!!!

Good-luck and i hope you start to enjoy your family very soon....

[amandajo389]

I have never undergone therapy.. The fear of my children dying did start after the birth of my first daughter. I do not recall having fears like this before. But everything else has been an existing problem since I can remember.. I have really bad mood swings.. I am happy one minute.. angry the next..

[Paxiled]

This isn't necessarily obsessive compulsive.  Often misdiagnosed, OCD requires compulsive actions, not just obsessive thoughts, and there are no actions here.  All anxiety sufferers and depression sufferers have obsessive negative thoughts, otherwise they wouldn't be depression or anxious.  So forget these labels.  Have you ever undergone therapy?  That seems to be where you need to go to learn why you have this fear.  And did this start after childbirth, or did it exist before then?  It could be something akin to postpartum hormonal problems.  You have some investigating to do.

[birdie0907]

You mention a few things, which may be all related, but the most important one is the endless fears of impending disaster for your children despite them living in safe conditions. This is an obsessive compulsive issue since it is repetitive in your mind, so I would repost the entire story over there.

Have you watched the o/c shows on tv where they help the person suffering from it? Perhaps what you have is just mild, but you definitely need to get a grip on it to the point that you focus on other things, as your husband said.