starting over...again!

[YesLife4Me]

I was doing good, feeling pretty good, then got a bad cold/flu and was hurting, negative, frustrated, bored, you name it...and an opportunity presented itself a couple weeks back and I couldn't say no.  I have asked myself a million times over why, but the bottom line is I wanted to.   My mind kept telling me I am on the right track posting here, getting after care support, etc, but for some reason, the more I talked about it, and the more I read about other peoples struggles, the more I wanted to.   So here I am on day 2 again.  Sitting here clammy, achey, tired, with a bad tummy.  Just wanted to be honest.  And to tell the truth, I wouldn't be on day 2 if my connection hadn't come up dry.  This is a connection I cannot avoid and was worried would be my downfall.  I am disappointed in myself and really do want to live without these stupid norcos dominating my thoughts and life.  So here we go again.

[Abby_916]

Please don't beat yourself up about something that is done. Believe me, many of us have been where you are right now. I went thru one heck of a withdrawal this time, but it ENDS! You already know that. As bad as the WD were for me, I feel like its harder to STAY clean. It's a battle everyday, but it can be overcome. Aftercare is the way to go. I know for me, I just can't do it alone. I need the reassurance of others, especially those that have been thru the same thing, to tell me it gets better. And it does! Get yourself thru the withdrawals, and then focus on staying clean. We are all with you and we understand. Good luck and stay strong!

[Pat1956100]

I am glad she is with him. Maybe you can tell her you have quit and that you no longer want pills.  She will tell him to never give you pills again and he will listen to her lol.  Just an idea.
I know it's so hard when it's easy to get pills.  That is why I kept relapsing.  Right now, it's not easy for me.  You must think about it, every time you see him.  I know I did with my easy connection.
Before too long, I couldn't take it anymore and asked her for some.

[YesLife4Me]

Yeah the depression is the hardest part.  Im sure that played a role in,my relapsing as well.   My daughter is still with him.  We have had many discussions about him using as well as my problem.   I don't like it, but being an addict myself, all I can do is encourage him and hope he gets to where he wants to quit.  

[gnarly_1]

Hi.....well embrace the withdrawal it is the beginning to the end of your pill use it is going to be tuff but your going to have to set down some boundary's with this guy and the pillls he has GOT to Know your not looking for some forever not just today this may seam like a challenge but if you really want it you can make it happen I cannot stress the importance of aftercare enough I lost 950 clean days to some sleeping pills not even my drug of choice but I had let my aftercare go .....now N/A is a priority did 90 meeting in 90 days to get back on track and I got a few days shy of 7mo clean again  just know if you want this bad you can have it just takes a little work on your part lets get you detoxed here then we can move on to aftercare....just wanted to wish you some luck here keep pushing forward.......Gnarly        

[Pat1956100]

I'm glad the withdrawals aren't too bad for you.  The depression really can get to you though and it just gets worse, the more often you use.
You said you dropped your grandson off to your connection?
Is he using?  That just really scared me. I know it's your son in law and I am assuming he is separated from your daughter?
How do you feel about that?

[YesLife4Me]

Well the wd aren't as bad as the last time, but they are there.  Yesterday all I wanted was to sleep.  Today I have the sweats and some minor bathroom issues.  The energy is low but not as low as before, so that's good I guess.  I don't feel as achey either and have a small appetite.  No anxiety or restless legs/arms..whew!   I have that to be thankful for.