Relationship Decisions Expert Forum
Scared... (get it out of mind)
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Scared... (get it out of mind)

Hey well i absolutely LOVE the advice you receive here so i FIGURED perhaps this could help me personally with my relationship with my boyfriend for 1 year and 2 months but we have been talking for 4 years straight.
anyways
just recently me and him had a break up which i thought was the end of everything for good. BUT i was wrong. i took it very hard because i showed him unconditionally how much i cared and loved him all the time and so did he with me. and One day to another he completely changed his mind about me and started to always make me feel bad and ALWAYS thought i was cheating on him when HE WAS ALL I EVER CARED FOR. i even deleted my facebook for him and thats when things changed for the worst. he told me i was prob deleting it to make a new one and talk to other guys behind his back BUT I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT. to ANYBODY! and so he left me and about 4 days later he contacted me and asked me for forgiveness and if i wanted to get back together and of COURSE i sad yes! and now everything is back to normal he's as sweet and cheesy as he was in the beginning and always asks to go out on picnics and hikes and he always has planned movie nights for us and we both absolutely love what we have going on with one an other and he tells me he feels quite ridicules for doing what he did and as for me i accept that fact that what he did hurt me but i know. I JUST KNOW. i feel it in my gut that we were meant for each other, we both enjoy the same things and like the same type of music our family gets along very good and we definitely make each other happy.  But now, because of that break up i feel so per annoyed, so scared, and terrified of loosing him and i tell him all the time how scared i am of that ever happening to us again and he tells me it wont that he loves me to much but i just feel so unsure so SCARED of it happening again even tho I LOVE HIM. and well perhaps you guys might have ideas or advice on helping me get that out of my mind! :)
3164984_tn?1343854726
Hello. I understand why you feel scared. It is really painful to go through a breakup (in fact, I just wrote a blog on it today, which you can read on my website: shellybullard.com). Here is my best advice for you: remember that your breakup was in the past, and it is not what it happening now, in the present.

Sometimes when we go through something painful in the past (a breakup) we can get locked-in on re-experiencing it, in a sense. The more time you spend feeling scared about another breakup, the more a breakup is a part of your reality (because you aren't letting it go).

On the flip side of that, the more you allow yourself to enjoy your relationship as it is now, filled with love and happiness, the more your relationship is going to feel that way--filled with love and happiness. See what I mean? Focus on the pain, you attract and feel more pain. Focus on the good, you attract and feel more good.

Trust yourself and trust your boyfriend. You are happy now. You don't know what is going to happen in the future, but no one ever knows what will happen in the future. So all we really can do is enjoy the present moment. And it sounds like there is a lot for you to enjoy right now, so don't miss it by focusing on the past.
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