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Can my partner adopt my son
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Can my partner adopt my son

My partner and I have been seeking about him adopting my son as his father has nothing to do with him. He is on the birth certificate as for the first 4 month he did see him but it was going frew the courts but got taken out as he did nothing the court told him to do and was orderd to pay the money I spent on solicitors fees for messing the court around and myself, he wouldn't pay so the bay lifts went in to take his car, he then payed the money it now cannot go back to court and as still not seen his son and as no interest in him would my partner be able to adopt him without him signing something as I no he will not sign it just to spite me he pays CSA as well so can any1 give me any info Plz..
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480448_tn?1403547723
No, your partner could not adopt your son without the bio father signing away his parental rights.  Is the baby's father paying child support?  If not, I would encourage you to petition the family court system to make that happen.

Good luck to you!
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134578_tn?1404951303
Is CSA a form of monthly payment that goes to you to spend on the child, i.e., what in the U.S. is called child support?  In other words, is he paying now?

If he is not, letting go for a moment of whether or not he would refuse to surrender his parental rights at this time just 'to spite you,' I would put the legal clamps on him for child support and back child support.  This has a way of wonderfully clarifying for a guy if he really wants to retain his parental rights.  In other words, if he is not paying now, he is being a dog in the manger but you are letting him get away with it, both being a deadbeat dad and also not signing off to someone who wants to adopt the child.  If he were to be forced to pay for a few months, and then looks at the math and sees a lifetime ahead of paying like this (or at least the next decade and more), he might re-think the idea of surrendering his parental rights, since he is obviously not interested in the child.
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134578_tn?1404951303
Oh, also, if he *is* paying a monthly child support amount, I am wondering if you might actually be in the best of both worlds right now.  You get extra money to use to raise the child, your partner loves the child and is committed to him, and you also don't have to ever see Mr. Disinterested Dad or go through the hassles of visitation.  It's not such a bad spot; kids are expensive.  The existence of a sperm donor means nothing to a child; parents are the people who come when you cry in the night.  Your son will grow up identifying the loving adults who raised him as his parents.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for your comments yes he pay CSA. And I no what you are saying its just I would rather have my son have the same name as my partner as we will be haveing a kid of are own at 1 point and are planning to get married.  would just rather the father not be involved in him as he not bothered and in my opinion is not a dad my partner is. When we went to court they all new he had no interest in his son it was all to get at me and pay loads of money in solicitours fees he was that bothered he never turned up to his last court arangment and got orderd to pay all the money I payed but would not so baylifts whent to take his car then he payed up. I read up if it's a strong case it may be Abel to go to court to see if my partner could adopt him. I'm just reading up about it at min not be doing anything for a good few years ..
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134578_tn?1404951303
Does your son have your name now, or his dad's?  If your name, it might be easier later to hyphenate your last name and your partner's, and to change your son's name to that name, without having to get your ex to surrender parental rights.  Then any future children could have the same last name.  If nothing else, if your son presently has his dad's last name, I would work to change that now.

ps -- My son, who is my birth son and born in the marriage I am in, does not have my last name.  He is 6 and it has never bothered him.  He is also unbothered if we have another child and give the child my last name.  Thinks it would be symmetrical.  So you might be surprised at how little the children care.
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480448_tn?1403547723
I think you're wise not to jump into anything, even if your child's father agreed to relinquish his rights tomorrow.  This is a decision that shouldn't be entered into lightly.  

For one, you would need to give your current relationship with your partner time to grow and develop, to be sure this really will be someone in it for the long haul.  There would be nothing more tragic than to go through the process of having him legally adopt your child and then the relationship ends up falling apart.  While no one thinks that will happen to them, the fact is, it's a reality and must be considered when considering something as serious as letting a non-biological partner adopt your child.

I would wait a few years, get married, and see what your ex does with his child support and parenting.  A REAL win-win would be if he decided it was important to be a part of the child's life, and sometimes people DO turn things around, so you never know, that's why giving it time is a good idea.

After a few years, you'll be more established in your relationship with your partner and will have more security.  You'll also have a good picture as to the intentions of the bio father.  If he continues on like he has been, uninvolved, and only taking care of his obligations when legally pushed to, that will work in your favor during any legal proceedings to move forward with the adoption process.

Make sure in the interim that you keep on him for child support.  Make sure you handle everything that involves the relationship between your ex and your child (including monetarily) through the court system, so you have very clear and concise records.  Is there visitation set up through the court system?  Make sure that you can show that you've made consistent attempts on your end to make that happen if there is a court order, that will show that it is HIM that is non-compliant and not seeking out a relationship with his child, and will make it obvious that you tried everything you could.

Best of luck to you!
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Avatar_f_tn
Thankyou both yea probly me thinking my son would want same last name he has mine last name suppose only thing that matters is he getting the correct upbringing and is happy. And yea it won't be for a good few years we want another baby as well so till Iv had my children I want and am married then al look into it the father said he would let him fined him when he old enough so his father won't be seeing him any time soon. I think my son better of without him any way he doesn't  deserve him he happy now with me and my partner n calls my partner daddy so main thing is he happy n getting all he needs Thanks for all your comments big help
  
Becky
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