On a Roll

Okay so much in the news this week, another odd story needs some input ..the Ad a Mom put in about having her child instead of aborting him hes that famous football star(hope I got that right ) and she had been attacked by pro choice people for voicing it, I have to say I thought it was in celebration of having her son who wouldnt have been here had she gone by what the Doctor said as she could have risked her life but chose pro life ...so why are some offended any pro choicers can enlighten me ..?

[specialmom]

Is it because it gives pause to those considering abortion that you never know who you are carrying inside of you and you may be doing the world a disservice by killing him/her?  I don't get it either.  

[iam1butterfly]

I would think that "choosing" to have a child is a decision that would be supported by every pro-choicer who identifies with that ideology. So, the outrage is a mystery to me too as it seems to be contradictory to the term, "pro-choice." But, it's an on-going hot button topic that has moral implications coupled with individual rights. And, an extremist, on either side of the issue, might have conflicting feelings about the two concepts being interconnected.

[jo929]

i beleive the choice is between the mother and God and i do not beleive in other people-offending the choice they make as it is the moms decision and the dad if he is around maybe the girl is 12 maybe it means the moms life we do not know and i do not judge either wayi live in a glass house. we do not know just what this persons life is like or why she chose this chioce but it is hers and Gods to make not ours  jo

[specialmom]

Hear what you are saying Jo.  As a pro choicer (as I'm guessing the above means you are)---------  why were people angry with the mom that chose to keep her baby and give him up for adoption?  That is the part I don't get.

[jo929]

i did not read the story i have no idea why others choose to do what they do jo

[jo929]

i feel i owe you an explanation for the aswers i gave about choice have you ever seen a deformed baby that can not be helped and are doomed to die within a week i have it is not a pretty sight also have you ever been to a place where the children are sent to grow up the ones that cant move have deforities cant feed themselves heard them cry, also i had a neighbor that had a deformed child it was a most pitiful sight part of a mouth and just a slit for a nose it passed away a week later i have seen it all some are doomed to never move a muscle and have to be fed and diapered through life have you been close to kids grown together or joined together that can never be undone can they lead a normal life i have seen all this and much more i guess that is one of the reasons i feel the way i do i have seen to much some children have no legs or arms have you seen this if you have then i do not have to go on  jo

[margypops]

You are entitled to your opinion Jo we are all just giving our opinions whatever our belief , I am Pro life but I do respect every woman to choose for her self I would never condemn another for doing what she had to do , if given any choice I choose to keep babies, but I can see there are circumstances where it is a difficult and individual decision ..

[jo929]

thanks for understanding jo

[specialmom]

Hi Jo.  I didn't even give my opinion on the subject of pro life vs.  pro choice.  So I wasn't questioning your position at all.  This is a great country in which everyone is entitled to have their own opinion.  I hope that you did not misunderstand that I was only wondering why someone vocalizing that they CHOSE life would upset pro choice advocates.  I actually really was questioning without any malice or underlying thoughts.  My opinion hasn't even entered into it.  I thought it was a really good question.

I live in a country in which I can have an opinion but it doesn't mean I expect everyone else to have the same opinion.  I might choose life where someone else wouldn't.  But
I also see that there are circumstances in which forcing a woman to have a child would be cruel to all involved.  

[April2]

I find it very curious. The ad is not promoting any laws or mentions abortion or anything like that. It's just a feel good story about a woman who chose to have her child after being told it would be medically dangerous for her, and having her child wind up being a famous NFL football player.
It's very curious to me. What are they so afraid of? If they are so afraid this ad may possibly cause women to choose life rather than abortion then let them run their own ads promoting pro choice, then. It's a free country with free speech but what I don't like is when I see that free speech trying to be taken away from certain people, like the pro life people. Instead of making their own ads they are simply trying to silence a certain group of people and that's just wrong.

[ILADVOCATE]

I am pro-choice but at no point do I believe abortion should be encouraged or promoted. I believe that contraception should be available not just to prevent pregnancies but also STD's especially AIDS and like anyone I believe that responsibility in all cases should be promoted. I would believe a person choosing to have a child should be supported. I have never counseled anyone in support of having an abortion but I have supported some women who were pregnant and living in poverty (and had disabilities that made them unable to work at that point) apply for WIC. It makes complete sense to encourage women to continue their pregnancy but there should be appropriate supports and services as regards aftercare and if they truly are unable to continue to support the child a further range of options as regards adoption.

[jo929]

i do not want to hurt anyone or step on anyones toes, but i have a question for all
if your mother was preg, and the Dr said that if she had this child it would kill her, and that she would have to choose between her life, or abortion, i ask this because a young man wrote in that he and his wife were going to adopt because his wife would suffer someway and it would be dangerous he said he chose to adopt and not get her Pg so if it were your mom or your sister, and you knew the Dr was telling the truth would you still stick to your decision of prolife or would you straddle the fence and say mom i want you to live or sis i want you to live have the abortion, can you give me an honest answer as to what you would say,, i am not trying to put you on the spot but this has happened before and the mom did the choosing or sometimes the husband what would youd do i really would appreciate an answer from all who posted jo

[jo929]

i forgot to say to include your daughter or daughter in law one of your loved ones
that may get preg, just what would you say if she asked for your opinion  would you say or tell her to do  thanks to all jo  

[katlynruth]

I think I like this ad. it makes people think and it is out of the norm. i will be upfront and say that i am prolife. even if my child had deformaties i could never be the one the end that childs life. i would feel even guiltier killing the child than to let it have a chance at life. who am i to decide when someone shall live or die?
Has anyone ever heard of Gianna Jessen? She is one of reasons that i am prolife. i used to think that its a womans choice and that it is between a woman and God but ever since i saw her speak, she changed my life. watch her speach on youtube. its only about ten minutes long but it may bring you to tears. the other reason why i am prolife is because i witnessed my best friend go through mourning of an abortion. she was raped at 17 and decided to abort the baby at about 5wks.
that was three years ago and she still cries saying that the baby haunts her dreams calling out "momma" and she sees the child that was half hers, half her genes were in the baby and half her blood, the baby was half of who she is. she cries because in the dream the baby has her eyes. this may not be the norm but i saw her hurt and i couldnt ever imagine another person hurting like her. i wouldnt wish that pain on even my worst enemy.
i am prolife and i stand by what i say. my husband and i are starting the adoption process soon (he has a few more months of school). giving up a baby for adoption is a brave thing. you are putting that childs needs above your own. i know this because i was adopted when i was four. i love my parents and i love my biological parents that created me. my biological parent put their own feelings aside to give me life and give me a real chance at living! i am so grateful for their selflessness.
im sorry if anyone disagrees with me but this is my whole heart in this. i hope there is someone out there that can relate to me.

[ILADVOCATE]

  It is indeed a complex issue as regards children with severe disabilities. It is known that some are severely limiting (such as causing the child to die within two years such as Tay Sachs Disease or with some very severe disabilities nearly after birth such as amenocephaly, the first now has genetic screening so the married couple could decide not to have children to begin with but to adopt instead, I know a friend of mine who has muscular dystophy adopted and chose not to have children considering that she had the genes, as for the second it can be prevented by taking folic acid, among other steps). I do know my mother said to me once when I asked her years ago that if she had known I would develop schizophrenia and had not known what my life would be like (and that was before my current mental recovery but of course I was doing relatively well and in college and had friends) as a person with schizophrenia that knowing what she did at the time (much of which was the way the media portrayed people with schizophrenia, as well as the way people with schizophrenia were treated at the time and having had a natural father who was diagnosed with it, did not take his medications as prescribed and self medicated with alcohol and illegal drugs and died decades ago of an alcohol related accident) that she would have considered an abortion. And of course she was glad she did not make that decision or I would not be here.
  The difficulty is when people use abortion selectively (especially in some countries where the sex of a child is a variable although some of countries have now made that illegal) ethically it can be a concern. There are people who have had an abortion because their child had the genes for Down's Syndrome and I have seen people with Down's Syndrome who had a normal and happy life. It is unnerving when people assume things as to how a child will develop and make decisions based on factors such as certain disabilities because they don't know how that child's life truly will be. Genetic screening that can enable a couple to choose not to conceive in the first place and adopt as well as following a doctor's instructions to prevent any form of severe birth defects, including proper pre-natal care and promoting an increase in that are to me more ethical ways to enable that.

[specialmom]

Well, it is a hard question in deed and brings up all kinds of emotions.  I would never presume to tell someone else what to do in that situation.  

I know that I forgo all testing while I was pregnant because I knew that I would have our child regardless and wanted a peaceful pregnancy.  (my age alone would skew the numbers, LOL)  

But if it were a beloved family member that were pregnant and had a health issue they were being warned against I would support their decision.  Yes, I'm selfish.  If I love ya, I want you around.  So that is indeed complex.  I think it would be a very sad day for everyone.  I would vote to keep my existing loved one, to be honest.

I am for life whenever possible.  I was a career woman that worked in mental health care for years.  Many women deeply suffer after having an abortion.  It is a "loss" for them even if it was the best choice for them to make.  And I think it is sadder for the women that feel nothing.  

But I guess I am a pro life pro choicer.  Because I do think that this is just my opinion and I respect other opinions on this.  Mine actually changed after giving birth and feeling life in me.

I guess in answer to why prochoicers didn't like this ad is because this issue is so political to give into either side a little is like waving a white flag and no one wants to do that.  I wave my white flag.  

[jo929]

thank you for not dancing around the question and you gave an honest answer from the heart, i to have been around when one had to make this decision i notice 2 ladies gave an opinion on prolife, but i will assume that their post was just about prolife and not my question they gave a good answer about prolife, it is ok if one does not feel as if they can give me an honest from the heart answer i understand  jo

[margypops]

Thank you all for a good lively debate , indeed we do still have freedom of speech I hope it continues ,

[jo929]

AMEN

[skydnsr]

Back to the original question, why did a lot of people get irate about the ad when it actually turned out to be pretty mild and inoffensive, even to a pro-choice viewer such as myself?  Two reasons I can think of:  

(1) There was a lot of pre-speculation about what the message would say, and a lot of people protested beforehand what they thought it would be like, instead of waiting to actually see it.  Some people thought that it would be a video of Mrs. Tebow condemning women who have abortions.  In my opinion, she didn't do that at all.  I saw it, and I'm pro-choice.  What she said did not offend me, personally.  She was very sweet in her comments about loving her son and being glad she had him.  I accept that.

(2)  CBS, the last time it hosted the Super Bowl in 2004, turned down a very "liberal" public service announcement (by the United Church of Christ, promoting acceptance of gays).  At the time, CBS said it felt that it should not take sides on such polarizing political and social issues.  So then in 2010, when they accepted a "conservative" public service announcement (pro-life), it felt to many people like CBS not only went back on their committment not to air controversial messages, they did it in such a way that the network took a side.  So, a lot of pro-choice people felt betrayed by that.

[skydnsr]

I feel a lot like specialmom does on this issue, even though I am a middle-aged woman who has never been pregnant.  I'll say, I'm a prolife pro-choicer, too.  That's a good way of putting it.  Like specialmom, my feelings about abortion have changed over the years.  I have gone from neutral to sad about it.  As I have gotten older, I have gained more appreciation and respect for life, even though I do not have children of my own.  A lot of experiences can teach you things.  But I still don't think anyone can make a decision for anyone else about terminating a pregnancy, and I don't judge women who have done it.  Some decisions are just not black and white.  There are shades of gray, and sometimes people have to use their own best judgment in lots of different kinds of situations.  I work in mental health too, and I also have talked to a lot of women who are grieving about abortions.  It doesn't help anything to heap condemnation on them.  A lot of them, if they had had enough support at the time, might not have felt that they had to do it.  So I think compassion is the better approach.  Have compassion for pregnant women, for mothers of young children, and for children who are growing up emotionally and spiritually lost.

[margypops]

I have only just spotted where this thread went to LOL  ...I agree with your post , thats really the way I feel, I think what also coloured my opinion abortion wasnt anything I would choose is those late term ones you hear about, that absolutely horrifies me ...it must be a very hard decision to have to make and as you say its not good to judge, the pain must be enough ...

[Totie]

I think if there was a commerical about a woman being beaten, living in a dingy house, drunk husband  with no job and no family or friends and she states there was no way to bring a child into this type of living he// so she had an abortion.

The argument would be there as well.

[allmymarbles]

Our Puritan fathers were bigoted bullies. Nothing has changed.