hi, my husband has a big anger problem and I'm wondering if it could be PTSD?! He was in Iraq twice, last was 2009.
I already saw that something was different about him as we talked on the phone, while he was there. He was always mad and angry about people he was working with.. now, my husband doesn't touch me anymore (well, unless it's ... u know :) he feels uncomftable sitting next to me. We totally lost intimasy! We don't kiss or hug each other anymore. The last time I heard "i love you'' was before 2009.
He has a very bad temper (he had it before too, but only when he was drunk) he is always mad at me and his step-son. When we argue it's like he's always trying to win and blame me for small stupid things. He picks up fights like he wants to argue. When he get's mad, nothing else matters to him he's is telling me things that he knows hurt my feelings like, about my childhood. It's like me and my son are nothing but a bug-a-boo to him.
I'm trying to help him and i want to find out why he hates us so much now. We did'nt change, we stayed the same.
The last time he was in Iraq he wasn't in any warzone and he didn't have any nightmares about Iraq.
I don't know, is it ptsd or does he ''only'' have anger problems and needs anger management classes? How can he find out? Are there any tests he must take or how do they diagnose it?
First, I do not believe he "hates" you or your son. But he very well may have some disoder(s) that are causing this.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a huge issue with returning vets. My wife and I volunteer as helpers to the Fighting 20th Engineers in Afghanistan. We are friends with both the previous and current OIC Colonels who report this sometimes as soon as troops arrive. It may be above 40% occurance and will require your love, patience, and a "push" for the proper counseling and medical treatment he may need.
In addition, many troops experience deep depression when they return, which can often times result in similar behavior, especially the loss of intimacy, conversation and teamwork. Depression could be due to so many things that you can get or experience in a combat environment, I wouldn't hesitate a guess, but it can also be caused by being sick or feeling sick of your situation for a long time. Please consider this point.
Diagnosis is not simple, and must be done at the hands of a qualified army psych doc or a private therapist or doctor. You might also consider asking him to have a complete physical, with multi panel blood work, including 5 thyroid tests and their reference ranges. This will tell you if a "hidden" problem is coming out.
PTSD is a major factor in divorces, spousal abuse (both from husband and wife), abandonment, and even murder among those fine folk who serve their country. It also is very prevalent in Police Departments in high crime areas. Please try to sit him down and talk to him about exactly what you just wrote, and how much you would like to try to get your relationship back together, as well as your old husband back. Honesty can sometimes really perform miracles.
I wish you the best in this struggle, and in Health.
i think that maybe anger mgmt. classes would help omly he can determine whether he will attend or not sitting down with him also is a good idea like 'hunter said i have PTSD since '94 and it is not hard to recognize the symptoms like anger outburst i had alot of anger when i got back to the states but i self-medicated with alcohol :)
omg I hope you gave up the alcohol :( and ur anger didnt get out of controll!!
ok me and hub tried to talk had a verrrrrry bad fight the other day.
He said he got tested for ptsd twice, both times negative. I don't even know how those test are and if it's easy to cheat it>> but my husband said that he will look into anger management. I hope he will because I will not tolorate his behavior anymore
After my husbands second tour in Iraq he came home a little different. He had anger issues but not like your husband. Mostly mine had nightmares and just didn't want to sleep. After several months I convinced him to get help. He did but Army red tape was making it difficult. As in a referral to see a psychiatrist took two weeks and then the appointment isn't until January. We weren't aware of other walk in programs that the Army has in place.
His primary doctor put him on an antidepressant that adversely affected him. The nightmares were worse and he was having serious thoughts of suicide. Enough that he had the gun chambered and cocked to his head. We are private people and even though I have a good relationship with his command it's just not something I felt I could talk to them about. I got the gun and hid it. Three days later he had a psychotic episode that literally destroyed our bedroom. As he was coming out of it he asked me to call his command. I was so relieved because I did not know what else to do. We are very private people and don't discuss issues with others.
The 1SG took him to the hospital and he was admitted into a facility that will get him on the right meds.
My point being, his chain of command can do so much more than you can. You are not contacting them to get him in trouble. You are contacting them to get help.
I have PTSD, and it really makes me have terrible mood swings.
Medication and professional counseling is the best remedy, "I think".
I have checked in to the VA Hospital and told them to admit me in the Mental ward. Once I got inside, I talked with other Vets that had similar problems, and it made me feel so good. I was suicidal, and it helped me. Going there is like pushing a reset button. so, You could ask him to check in to the VA Hospital Mental Ward. Actually it was quiet fun.
I don't think anything I could say would help, but I wish you blue skies ahead.
PTSD is a waste basket where all the cases the VA doesn't want to test for are thrown into. Test for what? Mycoplasma infection primarily. It can have a profound effect on the mental state of person that is infected, and it is contagious.
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